Relationships

I received this email early this morning in our Sunrise Chapel mailbox. I had been struggling with a topic as the past week as been rather busy at work and, honestly, I was pretty focused on yesterday’s ride for Meadow. I really wanted to bring a message of hope, joy and celebration in the Devil’s defeat.

After waking up several times throughout the night, debating on whether I should go into the office or not, I finally saw this email around 2:30 AM.

Dear Pastor Woody,

I know you probably receive tons of requests for prayer and sermon topic but I thought I’d send you mine to see if you might help me with something I am going through.

Several years ago, I lost my husband as a result of a heart attack. My grief was great but I eventually calmed myself down and met another man. For nearly 7 years now, we have been together but, recently, something has started bothering him. Every year, I still celebrate my deceased husband’s birthday. I’m just trying not to let his memory die but it seems its really starting to bother the man I’m with now. I love him dearly, but he doesn’t seem to understand. I don’t want to upset him any further but I don’t want to just forget my husband. Do you have any advice here?

To add to this, all of my friends of many years, and some family members, have started siding with my boyfriend and think I should just “let go” and move on.

 I guess what I’m asking is, can you speak about relationships and how to help keep them alive?

 I hope I haven’t bothered you but I will keep looking for you videos every Sunday and, perhaps one day, you will be able to help me.

 Thank you for your time and consideration.

 Much love,
Norma

Good questions Norma! I am not an authority on relationships nor am I educated on how to save or restore them. I am, however, a man of God and believe there are scriptures that might help us understand more clearly so allow me to give it a shot.

Our Friends

We all have friends. Some of us more than others but, nonetheless people we’ve chosen to allow into our lives for one reason or another. Sometimes, our friends are closer to us than family.

We share many things with our friends. Things that please us; things that upset us and things that break our hearts. We share all of these emotions willingly to those we consider as our “close friends.” Proverbs gives us some warnings here about being wise in the selection of our friends.

Proverbs 18:14 – “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 13:20“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harms.”

…and one of Brother Joe’s favorites

Proverbs 27:17“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

Clearly, we all need our friends. Our friends can be our closest confidants and the people we trust the most. Be careful in whom you choose and why you choose them.

Our Family

Who cannot be close to their families? After all, its where we grew-up, learned about life in general and are always tied together in some way, shape or form.

We can sometimes call a family member our friend as well. Why not? We’ve shared a lot of secrets growing up. We’ve been through life, death and dire circumstances at times… but together, we will always remain family.

Do not become angry at your family for disagreements you may have as Proverbs once again tells us…

Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Always understand, your family knows you well. Their advice may not be what you want to hear but at least take their words into consideration. Talk with them; help them understand your viewpoint… and when all is said and done, continue to Love them as you always should.

Our Partners

Here is the big one… the one Norma began her request with this morning. Why is it that when we choose someone to be with, we seem to always end-up at odds?

From the very beginning we were meant to be together

Genesis 2:20-24 – “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

As you can see, we were meant to be as one from the days of Adam and Eve. The way God intended it to be. The way we are supposed to live our lives… two together, as one.

So, what happened? Why are we always at odds? I’d like to share my own opinion on that as, sadly enough, I have seen the downfall of many relationships. Not only my own but many people around me. Both friends and family.

Do you remember when you first met? What attracted you to one another? Is it not still there… lurking within us? Isn’t the same trait that brought you together still within your partner or have you just simply forgotten?

These things, I remember. Sure, I get angry… I get upset and sometimes want to scream… but is it all worth it in the end?

When we become angry or are at odds with one another, look back… remember. Remember the smile; the laugh; the little quirky habit that made you want to be there in the first place.

Once you have reminded yourselves of these things, talk to them. Speak calmly, softly and from your hearts. Do everything within your power to forget your anger and resolve what it is you argue about… remembering when it all began.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 – “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor”

Loved Ones Passed

This is one that is very near and dear to my heart. I too lost a loved one and know that pain all too well. It took a long time to “get over it” and “move on.” But still, to this day, I will always remember.

I believe when someone we love passes on, they take a small piece of our hearts with them, just as they leave a small piece of their heart with us. Treasure this, as a gift from God… that you will always remember and that, with these pieces, you will remember each other in our Father’s Kingdom as we may not appear in Heaven as we did on earth but it is by our hearts, we will remember.

Believe it or not, and contradictory to medical pictures and x-rays, our hearts are huge… and an integral part of our soul. Can we love again? Absolutely Norma! We’ve got a lot of room in there. As we loved one person in one way, we can most certainly love another in the same fashion yet differently.

John 13:34 (The Eleventh Commandment) – “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

In Closing

Our relationships are our lives. Don’t simply let them go or break them off with unjust reason. Work for them; fight for them and remember why you started them to begin with! Remember your past and build your future on the Godly decisions you should make and, most of all, Love One Another!

And, in one last thing I should remind you from our Bible… be careful in whom you choose to be with…

2 Corinthians 6:14“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

Choose your friends and partners wisely. Remember your faith and trust in it and, in doing so, your relationships will be fruitful.

Go with God; be good to one another; always stay humble; always be kind… God Bless!